Meet Victoria Clarke-jones | Kids and Teen Mental Health Coach

We had the good fortune of connecting with Victoria Clarke-jones and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Victoria, what role has risk played in your life or career?
That’s a great question. I’ve often thought about how in some areas of my life, I’ve taken huge risks and yet, I know I’ve been pretty risk avoidant in other areas.

Growing up the way I did with very little stability or certainty, it makes sense to me that I crave security as an adult. I’ve noticed my need for security comes out when it’s anything to do with my family and kids, especially having a blended family. Having studied child psychology, I understand how important routines and schedules are for children, even more so for kids who have gone through traumatic experiences. So, I’ve done my best to create predictability in certain areas of my life, which not only has helped my family, but has also helped me heal from my own traumatic childhood.

Answering the question though, having those areas of predictability has also increased my tolerance for uncertainty when I’ve thrown all caution to the wind and moved over 7000 miles to a new continent to begin a new life with my son and dog in tow, for example. I’ve never been afraid of change and have always enjoyed testing my resilience, knowing that the biggest changes I’ve made have helped me grow and brought new opportunities into my life. It also meets my need for excitement and adventure.

For me personally, having that balance has been crucial for me to be able to take risks.

What should our readers know about your business?
I started my business, Victor Kids Life Coaching, in the middle of 2021. I had been a schoolteacher and Early Childhood Educator when I lived internationally and when I moved to the US in 2019, I wanted to try something different. After Covid and seeing how many kids and teens were suffering from the lockdowns and isolation, I knew I had to do something to help.

I originally trained to work as an adult life coach, but something kept pulling me back to starting my work with kids. A lot of it also had to do with noticing how I kept coming back to my childhood traumas when I was working with my therapist and business coaches I hired to help me. I saw how I had stories and mindsets that were holding me back from being the business owner I wanted to be and all of them stemmed from childhood.

If you’re a business owner, you’ll know that it’s a wild ride and that not everyone makes it. When I read the statistics of how many small businesses fail in the first 5 years, I knew that I needed some major help if I was going to last. I’ve spent years building up my ‘entrepreneurial nervous system’ and I credit that with why I’m still going, through the ups and downs, setbacks as well as the wins.

This is why the cornerstone of my coaching with kids and teens is around understanding emotions and nervous system regulation. When you have a nervous system that can not only handle the big highs but also the lows that life will throw at you, you are unstoppable. Helping kids understand that it’s not about avoiding challenges but empowering them with tools to overcome those challenges is what’s going to build resilience. That’s more of what the world needs today, with growing instability in so many areas of our lives.

Let’s say your best friend was visiting the area and you wanted to show them the best time ever. Where would you take them? Give us a little itinerary – say it was a week long trip, where would you eat, drink, visit, hang out, etc.
I love nature and am so lucky to live in Colorado with all of its natural beauty. Since it’s Fall, I’d love to take them out to Rocky Mountain National Park to see the leaves changing color and go hiking. I remember on one of my first trips here, I saw so much wildlife that I’d never seen before, coming from the city, so I’d definitely want to show them that.

If there were any good shows on, I’d also love to take them to Red Rocks. Being in a tribute band with my husband, we caught Incubus and 311 performing there when they came to Colorado. I can see why seeing a Red Rocks show is a bucket list item for many people.

As far as food or hangout spots, one of my favorite pastimes is cooking and baking. I’ve always loved entertaining and one of the ways I show love for the people I care about is cooking for them at my home. I love cooking so much that I even teach classes to kids at my home.

My friends and I are also at the age where the location isn’t as important as the company. Hanging out with good food and drinks (it’s tea for me, as I don’t drink) and forgetting the time because you’ve been catching up on each other’s lives is one of the best ways to spend an evening.

The Shoutout series is all about recognizing that our success and where we are in life is at least somewhat thanks to the efforts, support, mentorship, love and encouragement of others. So is there someone that you want to dedicate your shoutout to?
I have so many people that have played an important part in where I currently am. I wish I could name them all here but I’ll talk about the most important people.

The first person would definitely be my mom. As I get older, I realize how much like her I am and how much strength and resilience she’s passed on to me through her mindset and attitude. She raised and homeschooled 7 kids, the youngest of which has special needs. She’s always encouraged me and my 3 sisters that we could do anything and reminded us how capable we are. She’s supported me through some of the toughest times in my life and has always been my biggest cheerleader.

My husband, Mike, has also been someone who I wouldn’t be here without. He’s been my best friend and anchor during times in my life that were filled with upheaval. He’s shown me so much patience and understanding as I heal, grow, and figure things out. He’s got the best sense of humor and has made me feel safe to finally be my silly, playful self.

My therapist, Oksana, has been instrumental in helping me discover and embrace who I truly am, warts and all. She’s taught me so many skills on self-compassion, soothing my nervous system, and relating to others that I now teach my clients.

I’ve had some wonderful mentors that I’ve trained with over the years that have inspired my work with kids and teens: Zelna Lauwrens, Lenita Abouchabake, and Dr. Laura Markham, to name a few.

But I wouldn’t be able to do that work without starting with myself first. Studying with professionals like Mastin Kipp, Alex Howard, Emily Fletcher, and Hilary Jacobs Hendel has given me so many tools in my personal development journey.

I also want to shoutout my 5 kids, as they are the ones who’ve inspired me to become a better parent and stepmom. When I think about leaving a legacy, I don’t really care about being a ‘boss lady’ or CEO of an organization. My legacy is personal, it’s my kids and how I influence them for when they go on to have their own families.

Website: https://www.victorkidslifecoaching.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/victorkidslifecoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/victorkidslifecoaching/

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@VictorKidsLifeCoaching-23

Other: https://www.tiktok.com/@victorkidslifecoaching/

Image Credits
Tehila Hatheway Photography