Meet Casey Murphy | Certified Sex Educator, Pleasure Products Industry Veteran

We had the good fortune of connecting with Casey Murphy and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Casey, we’d love to hear more about how you thought about starting your own business?
The Pleasure Parlor launched in 2016, after I spent about 10 years of working in the sexual wellness industry in both manufacturing and distribution. Marketing, sales, content creation, copywriting, PR, product education + more. Working with a lot of startup manufacturers, I was fortunate to find unique opportunities within different departments, always happy to be a big sponge, soaking it all in and lending the expertise that I had gathered along the way.

From 2012-2017, I was an account manager for a couple of pleasure product distributors, and realized that what I enjoyed most about the job wasn’t sex toy sales. It was helping my retail accounts generate creative ideas to strengthen their competitive advantages within the market. Product selections tailored to their specific demographics, grassroots marketing ideas, SEO knowledge, social media growth hacks, drop shipping tips, for example. My accounts included new and/or veteran e-commerce sites, well-established brick and mortar stores throughout the US, startup brick and mortar businesses, and new pleasure products home party entrepreneurs. I heard the term ‘zone of genius’ for the first time somewhere within that span of time, and realized that I was in that zone while assisting my retailer accounts with their business strategies. It came natural to me – the intersection of creativity and expertise – and I was surprised at the amount of information I had acquired over the years. Delivering helpful shortcuts for overwhelmed business owners that didn’t have time to keep up with industry trends, and new entrepreneurs who didn’t know where to start. What would my expertise in sex toy sales and marketing look like if it was applied in a direct-to-consumer capacity? Ultimately, I wanted to help more people have great sex; advocating that sex toys can be a vehicle for more intimate connection and sexual gratification. I wanted to do so in a way that made curious customers comfortable with these types of products. Our industry has been ‘taboo’ for many years as far as the mainstream in concerned, and I wanted to do my part to help unravel that narrative, with creative limitations regarding what my business model looked like. Just my quirky voice, a lot of expertise with pleasure products, and a genuinely bespoke approach to adult subscription boxes.

Thepleasureparlor.com was up and running in about a month after many late nights uploading products one at a time; tailoring product descriptions, copy and graphics to reflect my voice and personal style. I learned my way around Shopify and Canva quickly, bootstrapping the business on a very small budget. In conjunction with the website, the Pleasure Parlor kicked off as a pop-up shop in Portland, OR featuring a variety of intimate products, locally-made artwork, and curated pleasure kits tailored for each audience. All-women art shows featuring femme-identifying street artists, plus-sized fashion shows, college health fairs, and other places you wouldn’t normally expect to see a vendor selling sex toys. The pop-up shop traveled throughout the Pacific Northwest until moving to Colorado in 2019, right before the pandemic. I was determined to integrate every business model I could under the Pleasure Parlor umbrella, just short of a brick-and-mortar store.

The Pleasure Parlor is the first and only online sexual wellness boutique and bespoke subscription service, woman-owned and operated by a Certified Sex Educator/17-year veteran in the pleasure products industry. Additionally, my partner Javay, who came on board in 2020, maintains a Masters in Sex Education and lends her knowledge and compassion to customer care and the educational aspects of the business.

Over the years we have cornered the market in the adult subscription box market by offering the most bespoke service available, allowing customers to personalize their subscriptions based on experience level, relationship status, personal interests and anatomy. The intention behind our sales and marketing initiatives revolve around transforming the shopping experience for new, intermediate and advanced sex toy consumers based on what they are interested in trying. This takes the guesswork out of the sex toy shopping process, while providing a comfortable shopping environment and body-safe products that we have tried and tested ourselves. I prioritize product design, functionality and premium quality throughout the curation process.

I wanted to believe that representing sex toys in an accessible, lighthearted way would resonate with people. No online advertising, just a small social media presence, a little SEO, sexual wellness education, good products, and a shopping experience that is unique to our business.

Our brand is defined by creativity and transparency with intimate products, and our goal is to help make customers feel good about investing in their pleasure long-term. If you are a creative entrepreneur, bet on yourself! Bet on your unique vision. Relatability will always win, whether that relates to the Instagram algorithm or resonating with future customers who are meant to find you.

Alright, so for those in our community who might not be familiar with your business, can you tell us more?
I am most proud of building a profitable business with only a shoestring budget and creativity. However, if someone had told me about the mental and logistical challenges that awaited when I launched, I might not have followed through. Starting a website and getting your business documents in line is just the beginning – that is where the work begins, and there have been so many stages of the entrepreneurial journey that have challenged patterns of self-sabotage and limiting beliefs.

I was so eager to get the business into the world that I pretty much only focused on completing the website and getting the subscription service, curated products and themed bundles up and running. When I first listed the couple’s box on the website, it was a completely customizable subscription box, which was not available anywhere else (and still isn’t).

This included a private consultation with myself and the subscribers, where I curated their individual subscription based on a detailed survey that they received when they ordered. This was a time-consuming process, but I did not expect these to sell immediately, so I thought it would be manageable since I had minimal traffic at the time. Given the fact that each of these boxes would be customized for every subscriber, I didn’t have product stock, since no two boxes would be the same.
Initially, I was thrilled to see a small drop ship order come through a couple times a month, and was proud to earn a $20 profit margin on each order.

About 8 months later, I received a flood of orders overnight for the couple’s customizable subscription boxes, and it caught me like a deer in headlights. I felt so, so naive for never asking myself “what if this business takes off? what if it works?” Big rookie mistake. Sorting all of that out became too much to handle, and I admit, it was very hard to recover from that situation. One customer told me that they found the Pleasure Parlor listed on a prominent mainstream website that listed the ‘10 Best Adult Subscription Boxes”, and that was where the other orders came from as well.

It took me quite a while to communicate with customers, and fulfill those orders, and a few slipped through the cracks. The shame of disappointing customers was an awful feeling. That was the last time I would ever approach anything in business with the “I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it” mentality. I have since removed the consultation option and have more efficient systems in place to streamline product ordering, product curation, and fulfillment.

Many of the other challenges have been in relation to mindset. I didn’t understand how debilitating different aspects of entrepreneurship ‘puberty’ could be. Imposter syndrome, the fear of failure, fear of success, creative overwhelm, perfectionist paralysis, and lack of inspiration.

Seeing other brands “do more with less” (experience and/or resources) has hindered me in the past, like beating myself up for not taking action to implement an idea versus celebrating the progress I have made thus far.

There will likely always be a challenge, but circling back to my ‘why’ and intention for the business usually always brings that original joy and excitement back to the endeavor.

Any places to eat or things to do that you can share with our readers? If they have a friend visiting town, what are some spots they could take them to?
Since I moved here about 6 months before lockdown, I haven’t really gotten out to explore the city. Well…that, and I am a hermit by nature – I love staying home! I moved here from Portland, Oregon, so finding artsy pockets in the city is something I enjoy. As a fan of street art, walking the mural tours every year in the RiNo district has been really fun. I love divey, eccentric bars so places like Enigma Bazaar, Grandma’s House and the Electric Cure are a few of my favorites. Broadway with all of its small businesses and old school charm is a place I like to take visitors. I still feel very new to this city, and I know there are a ton of eclectic spots that I have yet to find! Help! Haha.

Who else deserves some credit and recognition?
About 15 years ago I stumbled upon the book “Purple Cow: Transform Your Business by Being Remarkable” by Seth Godin. At the time, I was about 10 years into my marketing career and had no intention of becoming a business owner at any point in the future. Over the years I have come to rely on the #1 core principle in this book to drive both long-term and short-term business strategies. Godin’s message on creating a remarkable business resonated with me so heavily, and the pleasure products market wasn’t even as competitive as it is now. ‘Purple Cow’ laid the groundwork for my approach to marketing and business strategy, as well as the way I consult for my small business clients. I am so grateful that this book found me when it did; it was written in 2007 and is still very much relevant today, for any business model, in any market.

Website: thepleasureparlor.com

Instagram: instagram.com/thepleasureparlor

Twitter: instagram.com/vibemaven