Meet Chelsey Sterling | Dating Consultant & Strategist

We had the good fortune of connecting with Chelsey Sterling and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Chelsey, how does your business help the community?
Modern society is much more fragmented than it used to be.

Unlike our grandparents, and even some of our parents, many of us no longer live in the small communities where our families raised us and were raised, and, as a consequence, most modern city-dwellers don’t have intact networks of family, friends and neighbours to draw on for both new friendships and for finding love.

In fact, for most modern city-dwellers, the old, organic networks of family bonds and neighborhood support have been replaced by professional ties, old college friendships in scattered locations, and, of course – the people we meet on apps and via social media.

Many of these new forms of relationships are fundamentally different than the relationships our parents relied on for connection and support – these relationships tend to be formed more slowly than our more organic connections, and usually under circumstances that are less permanent. In the case of relationships formed through dating apps, there’s a sort of ephemeral quality to them – a sense, that if this connection doesn’t work out, there’s always the possibility of more connections.

Modern dating follows this new, inorganic “app dating model” of connection – we can’t meet people and expect that we’ll immediately become close with them, because these people are, unlike the people we might meet through friends and family – literal strangers.

In short – many of the same rules that govern our in-person, community-founded relationships don’t apply in this new world of virtual relationship-building. And many of us are experiencing a uniquely modern cocktail of anxiety, loneliness, and frustration accompanying that loss. Alongside, of course, a generous serving of fatigue.

I started my business to help modern singles to navigate the changing norms of contemporary connection by helping them to understand that they can navigate this complex landscape on their OWN terms, instead of feeling tossed around by the demands of dating apps and the shifting social landscape.

Modern dating DOES feel confusing – AND we can still navigate it on our terms. We CAN feel empowered, at ease, and in control when we date. It may take a little bit of rethinking and redefining how we approach the modern connection landscape – but it is possible.

If you had a friend visiting you, what are some of the local spots you’d want to take them around to?
I love Denver – there’s so much to do and to see!

If my mom was visiting Denver for a weekend, I would start by taking her to Good Bread early on Saturday morning for croissants. (Good Bread is only open in the morning, and we would want to make sure that we’re there early enough to get our favorites). After getting chocolate croissants and coffee (and maybe a sandwich or two!), we would take them to the pavilion at Cheeseman Park to eat; I would teach her a bit about the fascinatingly unsettling history of Cheeseman – did you know that the park used to be a graveyard?

After Cheeseman, we might go to the Denver Botanic Gardens to spend the afternoon rambling around the flowers and listening to the birds. We’d finish our night with a picnic at the gardens on the lawn – complete with charcuterie we’d packed ourselves, and call it an early night.

Sunday, we might start with a patio brunch at Vert Kitchen for brioche breakfast sandwiches and elderflower spritz’s. Next, we would likely go to Cherry Creek to wander around with iced coffees while we window shop – and to plan the interiors of our fabulous future dream homes in a stroll through Restoration Hardware. We’d likely stop at Local Jones for wine and appetizers before picking up pizza at Cart-Driver to take home for a cozy night in.

Shoutout is all about shouting out others who you feel deserve additional recognition and exposure. Who would you like to shoutout?
I would love to shout-out Emily Fryer Garcia of Tribe Mind Body Wellness for nominating me for my interview.

Emily is a wonderful therapist in the Denver area who specializes in community work and in men’s health. She’s been both a colleague and a friend to me since we met, and I’m grateful to her for nominating me for this feature.

Website: www.chelseysterlingcoaching.com

Instagram: @chelseysterlingcoaching

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chelseysterlingcoaching

Other: I run free online dating support groups for men, women, and nonbinary people. My women’s/nonbinary group is here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/alignedandauthenticdating/ My men’s/nonbinary group is here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/400100534861915/