Meet Kathryn Love | Doula | Aspiring Traditional Midwife | Birth Photographer

We had the good fortune of connecting with Kathryn Love and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Kathryn, what was your thought process behind starting your own business?
The “how” of how i ended up here is in my opinion a beautiful, long, traumatic story. But i wouldn’t know this was my calling until my 3rd child. I had my first child when i was 20 years old. The father of my child was determined to say that the baby wasn’t his. I was a young mother in my wild phase and finding out i was pregnant was shock enough, but doing it alone was something i never imagined going through. I as a white presenting Native American women, I wouldn’t realize until 10 years later how traumatic my first pregnancy was. I was lucky that I still lived with my parents and I had amazing friends there to help. Being 20 years old and uneducated in anything in regard to medical intervention, I went into this journey knowing that I wanted the epidural and all the medication. I had a very beautiful easy going 40 weeks. No complications, no morning sickness nothing. On August 8th I woke my mother up at 2 in the morning freaking out because I went to the bathroom and found a HUGE slug like thing in my underwear and slight cramping. I found out that it was normal, and my mom told me baby would be here soon and to go to bed and try and get some sleep. At about 9am after my mother forced me to walk our cul-de-sac for hours, she finally took me to the hospital where my first child would be born. Carleigh (now 15) was facing “sunny side up” and per the doctor needed to come out quickly. Looking back there was no reason for him to do what happened next. I don’t remember a lot other than seeing him grab these “tongs” that were covered in rubber and using those to pull my daughter out by the head!!! I birthed on my back with my feet up while my father and friend held my legs. Thankfully my child wasn’t hurt at all during the process, and she finally made her way earthside. 12 hour later I was officially a mother. I had 7 stitches to fix the damage caused by the doctor and my private area over the next 2 weeks was so swollen it felt AND looked like i had a baseball between my legs and i couldn’t walk. Still i thought this was all normal because I didn’t know any better.

Fast forward 5 years and I’m expecting my second child. Its the end of November and I’m back at the same hospital a bit more educated than before and my birth plan was to go natural I didn’t want the epidural and I know that my body was made to do this. After hours of labor, numerous cervical checks according to the doctor I was progressing nicely. However, the nurses kept coming in and asking me “are you sure you don’t want the epidural? It’s only going to get worse from here let us help you” I felt extremely pressured and not cared for. It was at that moment that I realized that I was no longer a person, I was a paycheck and just a bed that they wanted me out from so they could get the next paycheck from insurance into. Eventually I gave in because the nurses wouldn’t let up and I got another epidural. Landon (now 10) was born in perfect health and my biggest baby at 9lbs 3oz and 21.5 inches long. Thankfully i didn’t tear this time due to the tongs. The recovery period was much better this time as I told the doctor I didn’t want any sort of anything inside of me. Not fingers not clamps nothing and that request was honored.

2 years later my dear friend Brittney was pregnant with her first child and her husband was deployed she was completely alone afraid and had no idea what to do and asked if I would be with her with her daughter was born. This was my first experience in birthing on the “other side.” Being able to help educate her and be there as a support person was the most fulfilling feeling id ever had. It was beautiful and I knew that this is what I was meant to do moving forward with my life.

Fast forward another few years and I’m way educated in birthing. I had mentally, spiritually, and emotionally prepared for what I wanted. Through research and education, I felt ready to finally have a birth the way I wanted. My town had just opened a birthing center a few years after my 2nd child was born and they were all about allowing women to birth freely. I went into labor around 7pm on August 3rd. My husband’s mother who’s an RN came down from Arizona to be with us. We went for a 2 mile walk and she took me to the center around 9pm while my husband took my older children to our friend’s house. I hired a doula (after seeing how much help I was to my friend) who met us at the center and printed out my birth plan. I wanted untouched, I wanted to be in control and i wanted to listen to my body. Twice nurses came in to try and fear monger me into getting interventions and thanks to my doula advocating for what I wanted, I was able to have the best untouched birth, no meds no interventions nothing. I remember telling the nurse I was ready to push she told me I couldn’t because the doctor was in the middle of another women having her child and she would go and let him know but that i would have to wait, she left, and my doula was like how are u feeling? I told her this baby was coming with or without the doctor. In the next minute i experienced for the first time ever FER or fetal ejaculation reflex and then my body literally expelled Hudson (now 5) before the doctor could even get his gloves on. Hudson was born on august 4th. This was the moment that I realized that this was my calling in life. To be there for women who aren’t listened to. To advocate for BIPOC, POC, Indigenous people and any women who feel they aren’t being listened to. I found birth work through my own journey and traumas later in life. After addressing and reliving my first birth, and the traumas I didn’t realize I went through I was able to fully see how bad the American birthing system is. Knowing that statically our C-section rate is high because doctors don’t want to work holidays, learning that Pitocin is naturally made in our body to trigger labor when baby is ready and that the artificial Pitocin will raise our heartrate and drop babies veering women to emergency C-sections was so heartbreaking to me and I knew at that moment that we need more doulas, more traditional midwives to advocate for birth. This isn’t to say that medical intervention isn’t sometimes needed because the Advances we’ve made are amazing in saving lives, but its more often than not, an unfortunate result of uneducated women blindly trusting their providers.

Since my youngest was born I’ve attended 27 births over the past 5 years, I’ve furthered my educations and attended on hands workshops with 2 of my cousins Kiarra Galvez and Zuleica Freeman. I try and bring my native teachings into every aspect of my birth work as well as my life. I’ve been honored to have been asked to attend the birth of Kiarra’s youngest daughter. Her story is so heartbreaking and being able to watch her take back her power, in her home and birth her baby into her husband’s waiting hands after a CSEC is hands down one of the most powerful births I’ve attended. Last November I was asked to come to California to support my brother and sister-in-law in the birth of their first child at the same birthing center that allowed me my healing birth. Its because of these women and the numerous other women who are to afraid to speak up that makes this all worth it. Starting my own business has been the most gratifying “job” I’ve ever had.

Alright, so let’s move onto what keeps you busy professionally?
I feel that a lot of birth workers, are afraid to speak up when doctors tell people how their birth will happen. I’ve seen this numerous times and most recently with the birth of my niece in California. I am not afraid to speak up if something isn’t going how the mother wants and everything is fine with baby. I will tell a doctor to leave the room and give the client their space to think and talk over options without the pressure of doctors and nurses breathing down your neck. Being able to be the “bad guy” so that the women can breathe, and focus is the thing that sets me apart from others. I’ve learned through my own experiences that when your there in the pain of labor that its hard to wrap your mind around what’s going on. Having someone there to advocate for you when doctors come in and explain what they are doing in words they can understand has been a huge reason why I’m so successful.

My brand “One Spirit Birthing” comes from my native background. A ceremony I attend yearly is called Sundance. something we say a lot is “one mind, one body, one spirit.” To me this means so much. It’s about coming together regardless of ones beliefs or walk of life and becoming one with who you are to allow yourself to tune into and understand together as one. Until we can learn to understand that not everyone is the same and that not everyone will have the same “standardized” birth we will not be able to become a cohesive unit to learn to work and walk together.

Any places to eat or things to do that you can share with our readers? If they have a friend visiting town, what are some spots they could take them to?
My favorite place in the entire world is being with my Aztlan family in the mountains of Gardner CO, located between Walsenburg and Pueblo. Its not a place many would go year round but that’s my favorite place. If I had to choose anywhere for a week other than that, like in a big city or anything I wouldn’t know where to go cause I’m not a fan of cities I prefer secluded locations out in nature. Here in NM, my family loves to go up to the mountains in the Pecos area past Santa fe. We pack lunch and we spend all day up there fly fishing. For anyone who travels this way id definitely recommend taking a day trip there. The land is beautiful and it’s just so peaceful. If someone was just visiting we always go to the natural history museum in Albuquerque, Explora interactive science center and we love eating at Guardino’s. The have amazing food and the atmosphere is just rock solid, but really anywhere downtown ABQ or any microbrews are always a go to.

Shoutout is all about shouting out others who you feel deserve additional recognition and exposure. Who would you like to shoutout?
The people that have supported me the most in this life journey & deserve a shoutout, my family.

My husband Kenneth has been amazing when I get called at all hours of the night to go to a client who’s in labor. If it wasn’t for him stepping up when I have to leave at the drop of a dime, I would not be able to do what I do. It’s not always local births. I’ve been gone for weeks at a time because i do travel, I’ve been to CO, WA, CA all for at least a week at a time and all areas of NM. My Sons just love the fact that I’m able to do this work and my oldest Landon love hearing about the birth stories and currently has stated numerous times that he was to be a “boy baby doctor” every time I come home, he wants ALL the details and always asks “Mommy did the mom get to birth how she wanted?” If it wasn’t for the support of my family there’s no way i would be able to do what I do.

Website: https://onespiritbirthing.weebly.com/

Facebook: www.facebook.com/onespiritbirthing