Meet B.a. Wolfe | Romance Author

We had the good fortune of connecting with B.a. Wolfe and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi B.A., do you have some perspective or insight you can share with us on the question of when someone should give up versus when they should keep going?
Funny you should ask, because about eight years ago, I did give up. Writing is such a delicate and personal work of art. I put everything I had into the books I self-published. I wasn’t about to give no less to future novels. With that came extreme goals I put in place. I wanted to show myself and the book world I had what I took to give the readers/fans more. Unfortunately, I pushed too hard. I was unrealistic in my goal settings and I had succumbed to my anxiety, letting all the fears take me hostage and decided I was done.

I was in the middle of editing my fifth book, which had a release date, a cover reveal approaching and I was still furiously writing the ending of the novel. But yet, I had promised this book to be delivered in a short amount of time. Edits were not going well, I had a lot of re-writes, changes, etc. And there I was fingers on the keyboard, paralyzed and unable to make the necessary edits, let alone write the ending of the book. Talk about feeling like a failure, right?

I had no one to blame for the pressure I had put on myself other than good old me. I wanted to get books out, build my name, have a decent amount of novels that my readers could go back to enjoy. I had tried to reach beyond the stars, to put myself in line with the elite authors who were releasing books left and right. Mind you, I still had a full time job at this point in my life. I had written a book a year, this wasn’t who I was. Pushing to extremes wasn’t what I had set out to do when I had decided to self publish my first Romance novel in 2013. So there I was, mid-edits, no cover released yet, pushed my publishing date back once already, and I literally closed my laptop and said, I can’t. I told myself I’d get back to it all after a much needed break. I wasn’t proud of the book I was rushing to release, it didn’t get the love and care I had given the other novels in the series. It was time to regroup and figure out why I was applying this undo stress on myself, when I was in charge and not under a big time publishing house.

Even talking about it now, I have to shake my head at how much pressure I put into publishing, when I originally started writing for the enjoyment of it all. Fast forward eight years, and I’m back! I am in process of finishing up that fifth novel and giving it all the love and attention it so fairly deserves, and also, working hard on a six book that will be unlike any of the previous ones in The Keaton Series. Which I am thrilled for!

I’m beyond grateful that I took the time away. I’m also, equally angry at myself for taking a step back for as long as I did. So much has changed in the self publishing world and how it interacts with Social Media. Now that I’m stepping back into things, it feels like I’m in some sort of Time Machine that took me into the future where everything looks different and strange, and I’ll be re-learning how to market myself all over. The one plus side to giving up, is the self reflection and the maturity that comes along with growth and time. I have a lot more backbone, a lot more perseverance, and a heck of a lot more patience. Things will be much, much different, in the best way possible.

So in this instance, how you know when it’s time to give up, is when you realize the effect of what you’re doing and the toll it’s taking on your life. The anxiety that developed all because of the pressures and goals I had set for myself spiraled until I didn’t even recognize me. I swore to myself I wasn’t ever going back to that person, and because of having the strength to step back and essentially ‘give up’, I’m stronger than ever. And for that, I’m proud of myself and realize now that I have the power to keep going in a capacity I did not have prior to my eight year hiatus. Watch out world, she’s back!

Let’s talk shop? Tell us more about your career, what can you share with our community?
This is a very loaded question, haha! My art stems from a love of writing and reading all rolled into one. I am particularly fond of romance. While there are amazing books about fantasy, suspense, horror, and mystery, my love falls with, well, love! There’s a such a beauty in writing and reading about finding your soulmate, meeting your first crush, and there’s nothing like that first kiss, am I right? Maybe not for everyone I suppose, haha, but I truly enjoy the beauty in romance!

You’ve probably guessed by now, my novels are romance based, and I wouldn’t say something sets my work apart from others, other than the fact that I ‘hope’ my love for story telling is shown through my words. I’m passionate and I always hope that my readers can feel that. I don’t want them to read just another typical meet cute, but rather, feel the intensity of two people whose gazes just locked and they are realizing for the first time that love at first really does exist. Or so to speak anyway!

Ten years ago, when I first started writing my debut novel, Away, self publishing had just started taking off thanks to Amazon and Barnes and Noble. They paved a new path for those of us with words in our hearts and stories on our minds to actually put it all to paper and take that leap of faith by hitting publish ourselves. While that sounds easy, it’s one of the most nerve wracking things to actually do. In fact, I wrote the majority of my first novel in secrecy. Not only was I unsure of myself, but I was worried I didn’t have what it takes to be an author. That was until I finally came clean to my husband and family, and like the cheerleaders they are, encouraged me to continue and the rest is history.

The hardships are knowing your stories are not only going to be out there for the world to read, but also knowing that they will be judged by those in the world. And let me tell you, good or bad some people do not hold back their thoughts, haha! I will also say, that no one will dislike their own words and voice, more than the author themself. While you are always proud of your work, you are your own worst critic. I will pinpoint out each and every part of my work that others might not enjoy either. But then flip that same coin over, and I’ll sit there swooning and gushing over the parts readers love too. It’s a very mentally challenging jobs. And when I’m deep in the process, I remind myself of this quote, “Every book is not for everybody, but there is a book for everyone.” And it couldn’t be more true. Keeping that line in my back pocket helps to tame the nerves on release day, when you’re overly anxious about the way readers will react to your latest novel.

My story is one that I’m glad I share, as I’ve been approached by several aspiring authors who they themselves started out writing in secrecy. They come for advice and not only do I help, I encourage them to pursue their dreams. There was a sign I read on Pinterest a decade ago, which read: “If your dreams don’t scare you, they aren’t big enough.” It was the advice I needed to make me realize nothing scared me, and I needed to push for bigger, for more. And I did. And well, I suppose the jokes on me considering a few years into writing my dream scared me into giving up! I say that with a smile now because I grew so much from that moment and am forever grateful I had that space to mature and realize why I started and what’s important.

My stories are full of love, reality, finding joy in the little moments, bringing us all to tears, and hopefully giving the reader something to hold onto by the end of the book. Life isn’t always fluffy, therefore my stories aren’t always like that. I do like to think that my desire to push the envelope on your usual romance story with a happily ever after perhaps puts me into a category where the vast majority aren’t. I also hope if someone hasn’t ready my books, which lets face it, there’s a huge world to still reach, they take a chance on me and see what the journey is all about!

Let’s say your best friend was visiting the area and you wanted to show them the best time ever. Where would you take them? Give us a little itinerary – say it was a week long trip, where would you eat, drink, visit, hang out, etc.
That sounds amazing, can I find a friend who wants to take me on a tour of Colorado, because I’m a total homebody!?! Just kidding, I mean, I am a homebody, but have no fear as a born and raised Coloradan, I have some amazing favorites though that deserve attention and I know will be a great time.

I’d tell them to come in the fall, as nothing beats a Colorado fall. The scenery, the temperature, the way the sun sets at the perfect time, it’s like pure magic.

We’d start the week out hitting up the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo. I’d make sure this friend wore a good set of shoes, because the hills are no joke, but boy are the views worth it. Not to mention getting to be up close with giraffes and kangaroos, is without a doubt a core memory in the making. I’d absolutely encourage them to take the Mountaineer Sky Ride. I’d unfortunately have to wait that one out being fearful of heights, but boy do I hear the views are so worth it! We definitely wouldn’t leave for lunch, rather we’d enjoy a slice of pizza with a cold beer at the Pizza with a View while we took in the skyline. All to end the adventure with a much deserved soft serve or shave ice, their choice while we wait to feed the elephants! Talk about a day for the books, right?

Our next adventure would be a day of relaxation after putting in some good legwork and steps at the zoo. I’d take my friend to grab a quick bite at Dougs Diner for breakfast, enjoy some delicious coffee, the burritos there are by far my favorite menu item, so I’d suggest grabbing one for sure! Then we’d take a drive down to Castle Rock to walk the shops of Perry Street where we’ll find the most unique and creative handmade items at The Barn Antiques. After we did some shopping we’d head to one of my favorite places for some relaxation, Copperfalls Aveda Spa and Salon. We’d have ourselves an afternoon of massages and facials and love every second of it!

It’s the middle of my friend’s trip and after relaxing, it’s time to get dolled up and have ourselves a traditional afternoon Tea at the Brown Palace downtown. I’d even try and convince my friend to grab a cute little hat, to really feel the part! The ambiance inside the historic hotel is enough to captivate any person, with the beautiful details, to the plush velvet chaises and of course the grand staircases. Once seated, I’ll definitely suggest the Jasmine tea, or Chocolate Chai, neither of which you can go wrong with, and we’d enjoy our tea with the most scrumptious finger sandwiches and delightful melt in your mouth desserts! Once our belly’s are full, we’d head over to the hustle and bustle of 16th street and do some shopping. You can’t go wrong with the perfect crisp fall weather and the excitement that surrounds the heart of Denver! Once we had our fill of shopping, no trip to Denver would be complete without going to the Tattered Cover Book store. If you’re local, you’ve either heard of it or been! It’s a Colorado staple as far as book stores are concerned! We’d Uber on over to Union Station and go sit amongst the greatest literary works and call me crazy, but the aroma of books is unparalleled to any other scent on earth!

Your trip is on the downward slope now, but that doesn’t mean the fun is going to stop. We’re going to go somewhere that we can act like a kid again and bring back all the feels from our youth. I’m taking you to Bounce Empire in Lafayette. Filled to the max with inflatable slides and houses, you’re going to be either thanking me for the amusement or begging me to stay! Either way, put the cut socks on they give you at the door, and prepare to have the most childlike fun you’ve had in a long time! After we catch our breath from the excitement of the bounce houses and fast as heck slides, we’ll go over and have lunch at one of my absolute favorite spots for fried chicken, The Post! We’ll indulge in the family feast for the table, because you’ll want to try everything not just once, but have enough for leftovers the next day it’s that jaw dropping delicious!

The trip has come to an end, it’s your last day, but that means it’s the best day, right?! We’ll head up to Estes Park, and go soak in the eye-catching fall foliage. The hues of red and orange will be decorating the scenes as we drive Trail Ridge Road, enjoying the fall pallet of colors, an artists and fall enthusiasts dream work of art really! We’ll stop where we can to take photos and hopefully catch some wildlife in the mix!

I hope you enjoyed our fall tour of Colorado, Barb-Style, and that the memories made were infinite!

The Shoutout series is all about recognizing that our success and where we are in life is at least somewhat thanks to the efforts, support, mentorship, love and encouragement of others. So is there someone that you want to dedicate your shoutout to?
How long do you have? Haha!

First and foremost the man behind the scenes, my husband, Danny. He’s the most supportive, cheerleader in my corner. The countless hours I spent behind my computer screen, avoiding life and the chores surrounding it, he was there front and center making sure I had everything I needed to succeed. And let’s not forget, I’m not just a romance author, but a stay at home mom, who also works part time these days. And he’s always the one to make sure my needs are met and if I’m having a hard day with whatever obstacle is in my way, he’s fighting to help fix it. There’s no one on this earth who cares more about his family and their wellbeing than that man right there. I had many ventures in life, from job changes, to selling handbags or beauty products as a side gig, to having this crazy dream to write a novel and self publish it. He’s my best friend, and without having him to share my highs and lows with, I’m not sure I’d have had the courage to keep going on my hardest days.

Growing up, I had a very close knit family who was always there and supportive of any and every dream you had. Again, whether it was selling beauty products or handbags, they were always front and center purchasing and promoting alongside me. Always wanting the best for their sister, daughter, cousin, niece, sister-in-law, daughter-in-law etc. My in-laws are just as much a part of my youth and adulthood as my own family. I’ve known them all since 1992 and their support has been instrumental in my growth and success too. I was fortunate enough to not only get to attend two book signings in my writing career, but I was able to attend both with family by my side. My husband attending a very fun adventure to New Jersey in which he got to meet several readers, but also some of the best author circle I’ve ever met in my life. Then, I was lucky to get my cousin and father in law to join my second signing in Dallas where we made a million memories and still talk about them to this day. To say I’m surrounded by support is an understatement. I consider myself very lucky!

I couldn’t not mention the friends I made on my journey as an author. From the women who read my novels in their earliest stages and gave feedback, to the authors I met and reached out to when I was a newbie and knew nothing, helping to guide me, to the readers who built a fan group to talk about all things Keaton Series! I’m still blown away at the friendships I made, and love that I still talk to most of these wonderful people. Having a strong circle of friends surrounding you while you put your heart on your sleeve for others to judge is so important. They give you the push you need knowing they’ve got your back no matter what the outcome is.

The love and support comes from every angle in my life, and I do not take that for granted. Especially realizing how fortunate I am when I can call a childhood friend up on a whim to take photos for a book cover, and he not only says, yes, but delivers the most gorgeous cover a person could ask for. Thanks, Nick!

The people encouraging me are endless and I owe my success to them! If I didn’t have their support, I’m not sure I’d have been able to do what I did nor continue to write today! It takes a village in all aspects of life, right?

Instagram: @author.bawolfe

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/authorbawolfe/

Other: Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/B-A-Wolfe/e/B00MMJIOW8

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7133885.B_A_Wolfe

Image Credits
The family portrait: Nick Thayer – Narrative Imagery
The rest are personal photos – no image credits to apply