Meet Danella Pochman | Advanced Practice Nurse, Nurse Educator, & Board-Certified Nurse Coach

We had the good fortune of connecting with Danella Pochman and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Danella, have there been any changes in how you think about work-life balance?
When I worked full-time as a Nurse Leader, I had this constant feeling that I should be doing more. Working in a 24/7 hospital meant there was always someone working, there was always work to do. I wasn’t very good at turning it off because, in a way, we were rewarded for over-achieving. There was always someone who needed my help, and I was always willing to oblige. I grew up professionally in the nursing culture and assumed that working at all meant I should always be working. I brought that mentality into almost everything I did, including parenting. I thought I had everything pretty well-balanced, but I didn’t realize how precarious it all was.

When my son (my 3rd child) was born with a rare genetic condition, I knew I couldn’t continue to work in the way I had been working. Until then, I had worked as if I didn’t have a family and parented as if I didn’t have a job. But his needs required something of me that didn’t fit neatly in this paradigm, and everything that I thought was perfectly balanced came crashing down around me. I knew I couldn’t quit my family, so I decided to quit my job.

Over the years since I left full-time work, I have learned that balance isn’t necessarily the goal I want to achieve. Balance assumes even distribution, and its maintenance requires constantly adapting and shifting. Constant adaptation is exhausting. Instead, I have decided that my goal is integration. Integration doesn’t place individual aspects on opposite sides of a scale, but instead it allows for all parts to come together in a unique way. On good days, integration can propel us forward by incorporating everything that is working well. On hard days, integration holds space for what isn’t working and offers compassion for showing up as a human. It doesn’t place one aspect of our lives against another, but instead allows for them to come together harmoniously.

My default still wants balance- it feels easy and logical to compartmentalize parts of myself and strive for perfect balance. But and also I know that aiming for balance will send me right back into burnout. Instead, I need integration. I need permission to show up as a messy human, to allow for things to not work perfectly and trust that they might be working perfectly for me. Integration is what has allowed me to re-enter the nursing workforce in a way that honors my journey as a nurse, a parent, and the parent of a child with a disability. Integrating my whole self into the impact I have on the world is what will create a sustainable experience for me, which ultimately benefits the world.

Can you give our readers an introduction to your business? Maybe you can share a bit about what you do and what sets you apart from others?
They say the only constant in healthcare is change, and the uncertainty that accompanies change can be incredibly stressful. As an Advanced Practice Nurse who experienced burnout, I understand all too well the stress that constant change and uncertainty can lead to. Gravity Coaching was born out of my desire to help nurses find a way to continue doing the important work of caring for others without sacrificing their own well-being in the process. We do this by helping nurses and nursing students navigate uncertainty and create a career and a life that they love, and one that loves them back.

My journey to Gravity has been wonderful, but not easy. I’ve always been a caregiver at heart, and so many attributes of the caregiver are rewarded by society. Selflessness and self-sacrifice are the unspoken tenants of caregiving, and they are rewarded because society benefits from them. There is nothing inherently wrong with giving everything you have, but when it comes at the expense of your own well-being it becomes a problem. This is the paradox I found myself in.

When my son was born with a rare genetic condition, I couldn’t continue to give to the nursing profession in the same way I had been, because he needed me more. I left my full-time role to be his primary caregiver, and gave everything I had to caring for him and the rest of my family. But the habits I had developed in nursing carried over into parenting, and I found myself continuing to selflessly give everything I had to my family at my own expense. I hadn’t just needed to leave my job, I needed to unlearn the self-sabotaging patterns I had developed throughout my life.

Everything changed when I discovered coaching. I learned what was at the root of my self-sacrifice and began to understand how to climb out of burnout. I started to prioritize my own well-being, and realized that my well-being impacts everyone around me. Even though I had left my full-time job, I learned that it wasn’t my job that had caused so much of my suffering. It was me, and with that realization came the power to change my situation no matter what circumstances I found myself in. I believe that is where real power lies- in the ability to stay true to ourselves no matter what.

Uncertainty is one of the greatest causes of stress. Our brains have an evolutionary adaptation to crave certainty, because when we know what comes next we know how to prepare. The unknown is one of the scariest things we face as humans, and even welcome changes can feel scary because of the uncertainty they bring. Navigating this uncertainty is how I help nurses and nursing students create a life and career that they love. We can’t completely take away the uncertain nature of healthcare, and as humans we are constantly evolving and adapting. But knowing how to navigate the uncertainty and trusting ourselves through the process is one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves. Personally, this work has helped me navigate not only the healthcare system as a nurse but also the uncertain nature of having a child with a disability. It permeates every aspect of my life, and I feel more capable and trusting in myself than ever before.

I created Gravity Coaching to help other nurses and nursing students realize their power to feel better regardless of the circumstances they are facing. I named my company “Gravity” because the weight of what we deal with as nurses is as inescapable as the law of gravity. Yet just because things are heavy doesn’t mean they need to weigh us down. We learn to hold what feels heavy and move forward anyway. We decide what we want to carry with us, and put down what feels like unnecessary baggage. Gravity keeps us grounded and connected, to the Earth and to each other. We can’t fight against it, but we can harness its power and use it to our advantage. And when nurses feel centered and powerful, every other human on the planet benefits.

We’re all in this life together, and every person will interact with a nurse at some point in their journey. Wouldn’t you rather have a nurse who feels grounded and capable of helping you navigate the uncertainty of your own situation? This can only happen when that nurse feels grounded and capable of navigating their own uncertainty. For me, that’s the kind of nurse I want taking care of me, and ultimately my son. I want someone who is rock-solid in their purpose and can hold space for our messy lives. That’s exactly the future of nursing we are striving to create at Gravity Coaching.

Any places to eat or things to do that you can share with our readers? If they have a friend visiting town, what are some spots they could take them to?
My husband and I have been fortunate enough to live in some pretty great places in Colorado. We’ve been here together for over 20 years and even though neither of us are Colorado natives it is absolutely our forever home.

The Highlands is one of our favorite parts of Denver. When we first moved here in 2006, we lived at 33rd and Lowell Blvd, just a block from 32nd Street. We love everything about that neighborhood. Although it’s no longer there, Common Grounds was a favorite of ours. We also love Sushi Hai, Meade Street Station, and Trattoria Stella. The Perfect Petal remains one of my favorite shops in Denver, and there is no better wine shop than Mondo Vino! Lastly, a trip to the Highlands isn’t complete without a stop at Little Man Ice Cream.

Our current spot is more Central Denver, and some of our favorite local places are Devil’s Food Bakery, Myrtle Hill Cookery, Homegrown Tap & Dough, Sushi Den, and Perdida. We love to pick up coffee at Devil’s Food and take our dog for a walk around Wash Park.

Boulder has a special place in my heart. My husband and I both went to CU and it’s still one of our favorite cities. Sko Buffs! We would either hike the Flatirons at Chautauqua or hike Mount Sanitas and enjoy the views of the city. We would have lunch at the Dushanbe Tea House, walk around Pearl Street, and stop for a coffee at Bitty and Beau’s. We would end with a fabulous dinner at just about any of the amazing restaurants Boulder has to offer!

Another favorite place of ours is Fort Collins. We lived there for 5 years while my husband was in Vet School at CSU. Go Rams! The city has changed so much since we lived there, but some of our favorite places are The Little Bird Bake Shop, Lucille’s, and The Four Fifteen. We love walking around College Ave, and a trip to Fort Collins isn’t complete without a visit to New Belgium Brewery and O’Dell’s Brewery.

Lastly, even though my husband I both grew up near the ocean, the mountains have become a second home. We love to ski at Beaver Creek, camp near Chapman Reservoir, and walk around awesome ski towns like Telluride and Steamboat Springs.

The Shoutout series is all about recognizing that our success and where we are in life is at least somewhat thanks to the efforts, support, mentorship, love and encouragement of others. So is there someone that you want to dedicate your shoutout to?
My biggest shoutout goes to my husband Justin. We met when we were 20 years old, and have grown up as adults together. We’ve moved all over and traveled all over, and there isn’t anyone else I’d rather do life with. He has been my biggest supporter (and at times my biggest challenger), and ultimately his love and support has shaped me into the person I am today.

My daughters are next- they are funny and smart and curious and brave, and I am in awe of them everyday. They encourage me to be the best version of myself that I can be, and any time I feel scared to do something, I think of the example I want to set for them. They do scary things all the time, and I want to be like them when I grow up. I love that the three of us constantly learn from each other and support each other through it all.

My next shoutout goes to my son- he’s the reason that any of this happened. His diagnosis sent me into a bit of a tailspin, and I am coming out on the other side as a braver, stronger, and more compassionate version of myself. In advocating for him, I have found my own voice to advocate for myself and everything else I care about. I have learned to slow down, to focus on what truly matters to me, and to let the rest of it go. We don’t always get to choose our own adventures, but being his mom is an adventure I would choose over and over.

Lastly, I want to give a shoutout to every nurse out there, no matter where you are in your nursing journey. Nurses make the world go round. It’s likely that every human will interact with a nurse or a caregiver at some point, and anyone who spends their time caring for another human is a gift from the Universe. I dream of a day when nurses and caregivers are valued at the level they deserve, and until then I will make it my mission to make sure that they know how important and valued they are.

Website: https://www.gravitycoachingllc.com

Instagram: @gravitycoachingllc

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/gravity-coaching-llc/

Image Credits
Jene Lynn Photography