Meet Lillie Zhan | Divorce Coach

We had the good fortune of connecting with Lillie Zhan and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Lillie, how do you think about risk?
How do I think about risk? Most of my life choices are made from my intuition. Risk is the yellow traffic light that says, “think twice” before taking any steps and “proceed with caution”. The yellow light does not stop me from going through the intersection; it’s my reminder to look both ways before I do.

What role has taking risks played in my life/career?

At 17, I moved to NY City alone to live with a friend, wanting the lifestyle she had. Never thought of it as a risk, just the next step in what I believed a successful local modeling career. The lights, people, noise, pace, all were inviting until they weren’t. The risk came knowing I needed to return home and how was that going to happen? Calling Dad for money was the only way. My intuition was saying I have to leave “now” and get away from the lifestyle I had created.

My relationship with my Dad was strained. The risk was making that scary phone call asking for money to return. I knew he would be his usual abusive self however I was now 18 and determined to make even more decisions for myself no matter what he said about how NY turned out. Standing up to Dad was an unfamiliar feeling. Now we call that feeling “empowerment.”

I rode a Greyhound bus for over 2 days to get back to Tucson, Arizona feeling tired and vulnerable on that bus by myself. The travel time, however, was not wasted. I realized the results of the NY experience could stop me from taking future risks or I could use the experience to take better-chosen risks. I grew more courageous with each mile and figured out New York was an attraction to glamor, not a response to intuition.

Alright, so let’s move onto what keeps you busy professionally?
Fast forward from my NY experience to eventually getting my associate degree alongside my paralegal accreditation. I have been a paralegal for more than 14 years and experienced my own divorce after 20 years of marriage. I had the opportunity to raise our 2 teenage sons on my own while finishing my bachelor’s degree at age 40. It was after my own divorce I noticed a shift in the legal system’s processing of divorce cases.

The fact is the courts are taking longer to wrap up cases creating a vacuum between the divorcing parties. The delay is paralyzing couples from healing and moving forward with their individual lives. While I’m unable to change the legal aspect of someone’s divorce, I have the legal knowledge to guide decisions and the emotional road map to get to the other side of divorce.

I coach my clients into self-empowerment during and after divorce.
I’m not legal advice. I’m relationship guidance you decide whether to stay or leave a relationship and to steer separation & divorce without causing more conflict.

I support my clients to take back their identity to Empower themselves & Map out the future of their relationships & their life.

Let’s say your best friend was visiting the area and you wanted to show them the best time ever. Where would you take them? Give us a little itinerary – say it was a week long trip, where would you eat, drink, visit, hang out, etc.
Living in CO with my husband is one of the biggest blessings in my life. I love the drive through the Big Thompson Canyon where we weave alongside the Big Thompson River. Sharing the spectacular views from Trail Ridge Road would be another must and 4-wheeling up Fall River Road an absolute blast. Given the fact that you can only go one way on Fall River Road, up is your only option! Playing “tourist” on Elkhorn Avenue in downtown Estes Park would be our next venture, shopping the river walk stopping at Mama Rosa’s for pasta or Poppi’s Pizza! On our return home we would drop by the old Damn Store on Highway 34 and finish our day at Sweetheart Winery, west Loveland’s treasure chest of wines, relaxation, and views.

After a day of rest at our home, we would pack our camper and four wheelers and head up Poudre Canyon via Highway 14. Getting an early start would give us a chance to hike one of the trails off the highway on our way to our destination, Red Feather Lakes. Camping and four-wheeling is my favorite self-care activity on the weekends in the summer and spending a few extra days camping with no place to go with my best friend, a must!

Who else deserves some credit and recognition?
I give credit for my success/my story to every person that has come in and out of my life that has taught me how to persevere, to keep creating a story, you want to write for yourself not the story people want to create for you.

Website: www.yourempowereddivorce.com

Instagram: @inspobylilliezhan

Facebook: Your Empowered Divorce

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCToA0shFmGikKFYpHO9E-uQ

Image Credits
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