We had the good fortune of connecting with Faith Koltak and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Faith, what is the most important factor behind your success?
The most important factor behind my success and the success of my brand is authenticity. I can’t profess to teach others to find and stand in their authenticity if I am unwilling and unable to do the same thing, so you’ll find me practicing what I preach. I’m raw and I’m real, and I’m open about my life, my struggles, and how I keep myself centered. Hint: I use the very same tools that I teach to my clients.
 

Let’s talk shop? Tell us more about your career, what can you share with our community?
Since the inception of Perfect Wisdom, I have been helping humans learn to find their voice, stand in their truth and authenticity, and create a life that is large enough for them to live it, rather than shrinking themselves to fit into the life that society has deemed “acceptable” for them.

I’m still doing that, but recently, the Universal choreographer yelled, “PIVOT!”

You see, on November 20, 2023, I had a bilateral prophylactic mastectomy with reconstruction. Though I had no known genetic risk, both my mother and maternal grandmother died of inflammatory breast cancer (IBC). My mother was only 43 when she died; younger than my current 47 years. Genetic counseling had given me a ridiculously high risk. Then, last year, my annual breast MRI showed an abnormality. It wasn’t cancer, but it was a rare breast disease, and, given that risk, the screening process was enough make me question how many more abnormal MRIs and biopsies and anxious waits for test results I wanted to face in my life.

When I met with the general surgeon, he told me that, as far as he was concerned, a bilateral mastectomy was “medically necessary,” and he didn’t understand why it hadn’t already been suggested to me. “If I was your wife…?”

“If you were my wife,” he told me, without hesitating for even a second, “you would have already had this surgery.”

It made a difficult decision that much easier, but there’s nothing easy about having a mastectomy. No matter who you are, or what road brings you to this surgery, there’s a lot to process once the decision has been made. The process is fraught with fear, and our support systems – the people who love us the most and are so incredibly well-meaning – are often unhelpful in their attempts to allay those fears.

And it’s not just our fears. We have to sort through a whole myriad of emotions – about the surgery; about our body; about our identify, and how that may or may not be tied to our breasts; about any trauma that’s connected to our breasts (and perhaps stored there); about any stories we may have internalized related to our breasts, or to our relationship with cancer; perhaps about dreams that we held for ourselves that won’t be realized now, such as being able to breastfeed a baby.

Or, rather, we should be doing those things, but the truth of the matter is that most women aren’t, because there is a gap in the patient care delivery model when it comes to mastectomies. When my cousin cut off her finger, it was suggested that she seek out counseling. When I was preparing to amputate my breasts, no one suggested counseling, and the same is true for every other woman I’ve spoken with who’s had a mastectomy. Those who have received counseling sought it out on their own.

The result? In an online mastectomy support group a couple of weeks ago, a woman asked, “How long do you grieve your natural breasts?” HUNDREDS of women responded that you never stop grieving, which saddened me beyond measure. Grief and loss don’t have to be part of the process. It’s unnecessary.

When I looked in the mirror for the first time after my mastectomy, I thought, “Of course this is what my body looks like now!” When I told that to the nurse in my plastic surgeon’s office, she said it was “amazing.” According to her, most women cry when they see themselves for the first time.

Most women heal from the hurt instead of healing from the heart.

It’s time to reimagine our relationship with our bodies, our healthcare providers, and our mental health.

I can’t say that I ever wanted to be a part of this particular “club”: women who have undergone mastectomies. But it was the best decision for me. I am grateful that I had the option; I am grateful for my surgical team; and I am grateful for my amazing support system.

Yet, I am a part of this club that no one ever wanted to be a part of and, since I have to be a part of this club, I’m honored as fuck to be able to offer something back to the other woman who have yet to join, to be able to help ease unnecessary suffering.

As always, I’m here because I’ve been there.

Final thoughts on this: After my mastectomy, I learned that there wasn’t a mastectomy support group in the Denver metro area. There are, of course, breast cancer support groups, but I can imagine that a woman might not feel completely comfortable sharing mastectomy-specific struggles (“I feel like less of a woman without nipples” or “I’m not comfortable allowing my partner to see me without a shirt since my surgery”) in the same space where other people are processing life-and-death. Also, it left women like me, who have prophylactic mastectomies, without a place to go. So, just a couple of weeks ago, Denver Metro Mastectomy Support Group was born.

Let’s say your best friend was visiting the area and you wanted to show them the best time ever. Where would you take them? Give us a little itinerary – say it was a week long trip, where would you eat, drink, visit, hang out, etc.
I think I’m too old for this question! I tend to go out of the city when people visit. I really value being able to connect with people, and I love to cook, so I really don’t eat out much. I do like to support small, independent shops and restaurants when I’m able. Rocky Mountain National Park and, by default, Estes Park are always on the agenda when out-of-town guests come to play. An afternoon in Morrison is generally well-received, in part because Red Rocks has to be on the agenda, whether you’re going to a concert or not! I’m in the SW metro area, so downtown Littleton definitely gets some love, and we’ll often find ourselves meandering down to the South Broadway area at some point.

Who else deserves some credit and recognition?
I’m giving two Shoutouts of my own. The first goes to Emily Jameson — my friend, colleague, and soul sister, who spent hours talking with me as I untangled my thoughts and emotions leading up to my mastectomy . Your endless, unwavering, and unconditional love and support have been both a blessing and a gift, and I am eternally grateful.

And to my partner, Ivan, who has been in lockstep with me on this journey since I began to seriously contemplate a mastectomy. I could not have asked for a more supportive, caring partner; a better nursemaid after surgery; or a bigger cheerleader as I turn my pain into a greater purpose. Thank you for loving me so incredibly well – even if the plastic surgeon didn’t give me that extra back breast you were hoping for.

Website: https://www.perfectwisdom.org

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourperfectwisdom/

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/faithkoltak/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FaithKoltak/

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCcE7cs6W51MgfBA9MMZX9xA

Image Credits
Photos by Jovana

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