Meet Liz Merrill | Divorce mediator and coach

We had the good fortune of connecting with Liz Merrill and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Liz, we’d love to hear more about how you thought about starting your own business?
I started my own business because I couldn’t get anyone to hire me! I’ve worked professionally as a classical musician for decades (which does not pay the bills, let me tell you), but had quit my “day job” when I had kids, even as I kept playing in orchestras. When I got divorced and my 3 daughters got older, I figured it was time to go back in what I had been doing before, which was technical writing. I figured – I’m still a good writer, I’ve got 2 degrees, how hard can it be to get back into the field? Well, turns out I was either too old, or had too big a gap in my resume, or overqualified, or too something, but I couldn’t get hired to do that or really anything else that paid the bills. That was really depressing and demoralizing – I mean, I couldn’t get a job stocking groceries! It was weird. But I woke up one day and said, “screw this, I’m going to start my own business so I don’t have to keep getting rejected by people!”. By that point I’d started mediating and realize that I was really good at it, so learned how to start a business, build a website, network, navigate social media – the whole shebang. I was inspired by my love of the work that I do, the need to make money, and the desire to show my daughters what it looks like to work hard, not accept defeat, build something, and not get bitter. Now I support couples going through divorce, individuals who need coaching through their divorce, local attorneys, and I run several monthly workshops and support groups in person and online.

Alright, so for those in our community who might not be familiar with your business, can you tell us more?
I’m the owner of Open Space Mediation, which I started a couple of years ago. I am primarily a divorce mediator, but also do other kinds of mediation and\ divorce coaching. I specialize in high conflict relationships and divorces. I went through my own high conflict marriage and divorce and that experience gave me insight into personality issues, how the court system works (or doesn’t work in some cases), and also the desire to help others who are going through challenging conflicts and life experiences. I love helping people learn to communicate more effectively and less reactively, which is especially important for divorcing parents who have a lifetime of co-parenting ahead of them. I work with individuals and couples who want to stay out of the court system and save tens of thousands of dollars in legal fees. It’s really very satisfying work. I also do a lot of pro bono work for women (mainly, but also men) who are in abusive relationships and are trying to exit safely.

One the things that I’m most proud of is when I am able to take a VERY high conflict case where the parties can’t even look at each other, much less talk to each other, and get them to a point where they are smiling and have agreed on something no one thought they’d settle on. It really happens!

How have I gotten to where I am, business-wise? Practice, practice, practice, as the saying goes. I work my butt off – I really do. When I started, I took a lot of programs at our excellent Small Business Development Center, took advantage of some of the trainings opportunities at the Larimer County Workforce Center, and really built things from the ground up, from filing for an LLC to learning to build my own website, to educating myself about social media and other platforms that small businesses need to use, to networking, and so much more. Being a business owner is NOT for the faint of heart! But I learned all of these things in order to put my services in front of the people who need them. I am still learning every day and haven’t gotten to the point where I feel I can let things go on autopilot, but I have faith that I’ll get there eventually. In the meantime, I love to learn, I love to connect with people, and I love the creative process, so I am honestly so happy that I decided to take this route. It’s a real joy.

When challenges arise, which they naturally do, and regularly, I lean on the support of my family and business mentors, who are always cheering me on and saying nice things to perk me up! And again – those mentors at the Small Business Development Center are like a hidden treasure. They are free, and they truly want to help small business owners achieve their dreams. One of my biggest recommendations to anyone who wants to start their own business is to take advantage of the services they offer. Go to your local 1 Million Cups meetings, any networking opportunities your community has, and allow other people to help and guide you.

I want to build something that supports the people in our community and improves the lives of people who are suffering because of unresolved conflict – and who doesn’t struggle with this from time to time? I would love to get to the point where I am collaborating with other small businesses and nonprofits to create programs not just for adults who are going through tough relationship struggles, but also young people. There is so much tension and conflict in our society and it impacts people of all ages, all socioeconomic backgrounds, all races, top to bottom, from the upper reaches of government to the kitchens and living rooms of families. Unless we can all learn to communicate effectively, how to create safe personal boundaries, and operate from an open mindset, even when we are feeling scared or closed off, I really fear for our communities. That sounds intense, but it’s really something I worry about! Doing the work I do with Open Space, whether it’s in the court systems or sitting at the kitchen table of clients, helps me feel that I’m doing something tangible that helps, in whatever small way, toward building a community that supports and nourishes it’s members.

Any places to eat or things to do that you can share with our readers? If they have a friend visiting town, what are some spots they could take them to?
Well, I know this is for Denver, but I actually live a little outside Denver, in Fort Collins, CO. It’s a much smaller town than Denver, but it’s packed with plenty of fun things to do! Of course people know it for CSU, our lovely Old Town, and the breweries. Going to visit the favorites like New Belgium and Odells is great, but we have SO MANY smaller breweries that are just as amazing, and almost all of them are bike-able from any place in town. We are lucky to have an amazing system of biking trails here, so doing a bike=brewery tour is always on the list of things to do with an out of town visitors. My local favorite is Rally King’s on Lemay (because it’s an easy bike ride!) – right next to it is Axe and Ale, which is insanely fun! Also off Lemay is the Fox and Crow, run by some friends of mine. It’s a fantastic place to nosh, or pick up some really fancy cheeses. Next to that is Nick the Butcher’s, which I love because one of my most favorite things to do is cook at home for friends. If you’re in the mood for breakfast, we have a very real, very authentic French place called La Creperie and you can get just the most incredible croissants and macarons (and more) there.

The summer time in Fort Collins is fabulous because you have the Horsetooth Reservoir to paddleboard and kayak on, or hike around, or just look at. We also have the stunning Poudre River, which is beautiful just to look at or bike next to, but you can also go tubing or rafting down it as well, which is a favorite with my kids. In my former life I used to do a lot of performing with the two community theaters we have in town – Bas Bleu and Open Stage Theaters and (even without me, lol), they put on brilliant, thoughtful productions that we are lucky to have.

As I mentioned, I have three teenagers and although they sometimes talk about going to college somewhere out of town, I think they’re probably going to stick around here because we have two first rate places to choose from: Colorado State University and Front Range Community College. Finally, I want to shout out to our incredible, beautiful libraries. When the kids were little that was one of our favorite places to haunt – that and our many public parks.

There’s a reason Fort Collins is always on the top of the “best places to live” lists – because it really is aces.

Who else deserves some credit and recognition?
That’s a tough one because there are so many people I am grateful for and indebted to, from my parents and my children to my friends and clients. I know that I’m blessed to have so many wonderful people in my life who love and support and challenge me, and I hope I express my gratitude for them enough! But I’d really especially like to dedicate a shoutout to the clients I work with, who have entrusted their divorces, their families, their futures into the work that we do together. I’ve learned so much from the people I work with – people come to me at their most vulnerable, at an incredibly low point in their lives, often feeling like there’s no hope. So it’s a huge honor to work with them, help them, learn from them, and hopefully get them from this place of real despair to a place where they have some kind of resolution, whether it’s a parenting plan they can feel good about or a Separation Agreement, or just being able to file for divorce. I wouldn’t enjoy the work I do if it weren’t for the people I work with every day, and I wouldn’t learn or get better without the challenges they bring to me.

Website: https://www.openspacemediation.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/openspacemediation/

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lizkmerrill/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/openspacemediation

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxpg55-0OQ9nqXfFbaGsxMw

Other: On Google: https://g.page/r/CWzUPxRBEOV3EBM/review Online support groups: https://www.meetup.com/high-conflict-divorce-support-group-for-men/ https://www.meetup.com/meetup-group-HighConflictDivorceGroupforW/

Image Credits
Kate Austin Groen