We had the good fortune of connecting with Amanda Testa and we’ve shared our conversation below.
Hi Amanda, what is the most important factor behind your success?
For me, I think the key has been trauma resolution work. In our culture, specifically in the US, most of us have experienced some type of trauma in our lifetimes, big or small, and often we have the residue of these events that affects us on many levels. Living in a patriarchal, white supremacist, hetero normative society, We suffer from anxiety, depression, pain, autoimmune issues, relational issues, and the good news, is that these are things that can be resolved over time, and it’s not about the destination, it’s about thriving where you are, celebrating your wins, and knowing that deep down at our core, we have a divine original essence that is perfect and nothing can change that, no matter our live circumstance. We can do the work to thaw these traumas, and create lasting change that can now be passed down in our DNA.
Alright, so for those in our community who might not be familiar with your business, can you tell us more?
Something I often see working with high achieving women as a Sex, Love and Relationship Coach, is that they are constantly juggling, trying to do ALL the things. From the outside, it may appear they are thriving, but inside they struggle with balancing the passion they have for their business, with the passion they have for their partners, and themselves. They are tired of the hamster wheel and the constant hustle, of burning the candle at both ends and having nothing left at the end of the day.
And I can relate. When I left my corporate career to stay home with my daughter, I still had that type A drive. I was going to be the perfect stay at home mom. I was going to do everything right. I will never forget this one snowy morning when my daughter was a little over a year old. I was shuffling into the bathroom (whilst kicking toys out of the way and grumbling to myself how I’m the only one who ever does anything around here)… I looked at myself in the mirror and had ZERO connection with the woman looking back at me. I felt so disconnected. I was super resentful before my day even began, lashing out at my poor little family because I was just miserable inside. Wasn’t I doing all the right things for myself? I was working out, I was involved in the community, I was doing all these things, but something deep was missing.
At that moment I made a promise to myself that I was gonna do whatever it took to find myself again. I would follow whatever bread crumbs came across my path. A online program came across my path and, thinking it would spice things up in the bedroom, I signed up. Little did I know, it would change my life dramatically. I felt alive again. My confidence returned. My patience skyrocketed, my relationship did a 180. Feeling the joy of waking up with energy and excitement for my day, I had forgotten what that was like! I just remember after doing this work, I thought to myself. WHY?? Why haven’t women been taught these tools around our sexuality?! We’re never taught how to have thriving relationships.
We’re not taught how to have amazing sex and thankfully, these are learned skills (and the education we do have is so fear and shame-based so it’s no wonder we have issues). I decided at that moment to make it my life’s mission to help women turn things around, so I became a Certified Integrated Sex, Love and Relationship Coach, among other things, and created The Feminine Fire Method™. I see it time and time again in my clients and believe with all my heart that sexuality is the missing key in personal growth and development. Your sexuality and sexual energy fuels your creativity, confidence, and power. It is a vital part of your holistic health and vitality. When women own their sexual power their pleasure and creativity flourish. Their confidence and body image soar. Their relationships deepen and they find the connection they crave. And when you can connect to that power as a woman, it’s life changing.
Sex and relationship coaching is what I do, transforming women’s relationships with themselves is who I am.
How did you get to where you are today business-wise. Was it easy? If not, how did you overcome the challenges? What are the lessons you’ve learned along the way.
Haha – Absolutely not. I love the meme going around that shows the road of success, that depicts the journey from here to there as a big scribbly line, that about sums it up. It’s not a straight line by any means. There are always setbacks and as you grow and scale, that continues. Some of my biggest struggles were around learning to ask for help – you can’t do it all and you shouldn’t try to. Let go of that control and perfectionism, and get support.
As soon as you can afford it in your business, create a team to support you. And make sure you are supporting yourself, as you grow you also need your own personal support squad, maybe that looks like a therapist, coach, personal trainer, and housekeeper, but finding the support is KEY! And just keep going when it gets hard. Allow the emotions to flow, feel them fully, and then reconnect to the truth of who you are, why you are doing what you are doing, and get back to it.
If you need to take time off to slow down, do it. Allow yourself to honor your rhythms. Try and add in as much pleasure to the process as possible, it is key! Where can you have more fun in your business? How can you make what you are doing 10% more pleasurable?
What do you want the world to know about you or your brand and story?
I help busy high performing women ditch the guilt and overwhelm and live a life with a lot more pleasure and fun. My clients feel incredible in their skin, tap into abundant energy, take sex from a “to do” to something they look forward to and enjoy better connection and fulfillment in their relationships.
In my years working with overwhelmed women, I see time and time again that we all have similar struggles. No matter what it looks like on the outside, so many women feel stuck in the routine of life. The good news is that is ABSOLUTELY doesn’t have to be this way. I’m here to help them remember who they truly are. The magnetic, powerful, confident feminine, sensual Goddess inside of them just need a little dusting off. It lights me up to see my clients reclaim their Feminine Fire and jumpstart their life.
In my signature Feminine Fire Method™, we use the best of modern therapeutic techniques and Neuroscience combined with the ancient wisdom to get all parts of the brain and body on board for transformation. My job? To help these women re-ignite that connection to themselves that often gets lost in the hustle of life. To help them feel that spark again. They don’t need over-complicated strategies or countless hours in a therapist’s office. They just need a simple, straight-forward process to reconnect (without adding more to their plate.)
I’m most proud when my clients share their success stories, how they feel sexy and radiant every day, one of my clients recently shared that she feels like a lotus flower blossoming every day, or when they tell me their relationship has turned around, and they feel the sparks flying again like when they were first dating, or how my one client upped her fees by 15K after the confidence she gained thru our work, or how they move from painful sex to enjoying intimacy and having more expansive orgasms and pleasure than they ever thought possible.
I know many people can teach on theory, but what sets me apart is the years of study, practice, an embodiment I’ve undertaken to give a powerful transmission of the teachings. It is an honor to be sharing this important work. I’m also very proud of my podcast, Find Your Feminine Fire Podcast, where I interview experts in the field of sex, love, and relationships. So many can be intimidated by this work, so this is a wonderful place for people to start if they are looking to dip their toe into this work.
Let’s say your best friend was visiting the area and you wanted to show them the best time ever. Where would you take them? Give us a little itinerary – say it was a week long trip, where would you eat, drink, visit, hang out, etc.
First of all I’ll be doing a happy dance because that means COVID is less of a threat, and we can travel and visit friends more easily again!! She’ll take the train in from DIA, and we will meet at Union Station for cocktails at the Cooper Lounge. Then she will head to her hotel and chill and relax. After she gets a rest, we will go walk around Rhino and check out some of the powerful art. We’ll finish with dinner at Barcelona. If it’s summer we’ll plan to see a concert at Red Rocks, and enjoy hiking in Nederland. If it’s winter, we will head to Vail for a few days of skiing. Of course we will wrap it up with an AMAZING dinner at my home prepared by my husband and incredible cook Mark. And we will laugh and talk and cry and feel all the feels late into the night
The Shoutout series is all about recognizing that our success and where we are in life is at least somewhat thanks to the efforts, support, mentorship, love and encouragement of others. So is there someone that you want to dedicate your shoutout to?
Wow, so many amazing teachers have inspired me on my path, and I am grateful to shout them out. Layla Martin, Rachael Maddox are two of my most influential mentors, teaching me trauma resolution, pleasure based living, and sexual liberation! I also want to shout out one of my Business Besties Carrie Koh, a business coach here in Denver who is always there to lift my spirits and make me laugh!
Other: The Find Your Feminine Fire Podcast: https://www.amandatesta.com/podcast/