We had the good fortune of connecting with Matt Hilliard-Forde and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Matt, what do you attribute your success to?
As a relationship coach I deal with the intimacies and vulnerabilities of people’s lives. For my work to be effective, to support a person and guide them forward in their relationship life, I have to be a trustworthy and grounded presence, and clear in my communication. I’ve done, and do, the work that I lead my clients through.

I became a relationship coach, not because I’ve always been great at relationships, but because the biggest challenges in my life have been in relationships.

I believe people can have fulfilling relationship lives. Most of us enter relationships believing that too. Unfortunately most of us were never taught the essential perspectives and skills that make this possible over the long run. Relationships are challenging!

The tools, tips and perspectives I share with my clients, the explorations I guide them through, are exactly what I’ve done and do to create fulfillment in my own relationship life. Learning these perspectives and skills has made ALL the difference in my own relationships, so I know it’s possible.

I concentrate on walking my talk, which includes feeding my fascination of relationships by studying neurobiology, human dynamics, trauma, beliefs (how to identify and shift them), as well as understanding my own judgements, patterns, strategies and healing my own wounds.

Alright, so for those in our community who might not be familiar with your business, can you tell us more?
I work with clients one and one, and I have a group coaching program too. I love the space of exploration and transformation what I witness in my clients.

My work with clients is to help them see the patterns and beliefs that are shaping their relationship lives, and getting in the way of the fulfilling connection they are seeking. Exploring these areas in a person’s life can be confronting for them, as we’re often digging into childhood and family of origin stories, so I also help them learn to self soothe and connect with their strong and trustworthy foundation. Often the work includes identifying their needs and equipping them with communication tools so they can be heard, and helping them set and maintain boundaries where necessary.
Once someone has expanded their awareness of their patterns they begin to make new decisions. The transformation can be incredible. I’ve just heard from a woman I coached last year. She came to me because she had a pattern of dating partners who ended up being emotionally hurtful and manipulative. After our work together she started making different dating choices and found a wonderful man, and they’ve just got married. I’m so thrilled for her.

The success I have with my clients is directly tied to the growth I’ve experienced in my life.

I used to be pretty emotionally shut down. I avoided conflict. I wasn’t a good communicator (thought I was, turned out I wasn’t). I didn’t know what my relationship needs were, or how to ask for them. I had some sly and underhand ways of getting my needs met.

I began to explore what was happening beneath the surface in my relationship life. The more I explored and understood, the more responsibility I could take for my needs, and my reactivity. The more awareness I developed, the more I was able to co-create the amazing relationship life I enjoy today.

My relationships have, and do, humble me. And I’m proud of the progress I’ve made, and I celebrate the progress of my clients. I know what transformation is possible, and I know I can only take my clients as far as I’ve gone myself.

The biggest challenge for me is the marketing of my business. How to convey what I do, my personality and the possibility of what is possible in a relationship. It’s both confronting and exciting, and it’s not lost on me that marketing exists in the realm of relationship too – the relationship between me and an audience. So I get to explore the vulnerability of being seen, the challenge of expressing myself, the possibility of being rejected. It’s rich territory!

Let’s say your best friend was visiting the area and you wanted to show them the best time ever. Where would you take them? Give us a little itinerary – say it was a week long trip, where would you eat, drink, visit, hang out, etc.
I have the best memories of the Museum of Contemporary Art Denver. It’s unassuming and full of delights. I saw an amazing, playful exhibition by Devo’s Mark Mothersbaugh that’s etched in my memory.

Union Station is splendid. I appreciate the thoughtful eye for detail and quality. It’s a wonderful atmosphere to eat, drink and take your time.

Shoutout is all about shouting out others who you feel deserve additional recognition and exposure. Who would you like to shoutout?
My shoutout is to Jayson Gaddis, relationship coach and my teacher, and the amazing crew of beautiful humans I did my relationship coach training with.

I found Jayson’s work at a time when I was confused and lost in my relationship life. He presented information with clarity and practical steps that I really understood. Making the decision to do his coach training program is one of the best decisions I ever made. It was incredibly thorough, and serves me every time I sit down with a client.

The thoroughness of the training, as well as my own experiences, has shaped me into an effective coach. The friends I made are part of the foundation of my life, providing support and insight in the growth of my business and personal life. They provide an honest and deep network of support.

My partner, Carina Reeves, is a loving and inspiring presence in my daily life. She encourages me to deepen, heal and explore new possibilities. We share a ridiculous amount of laughter and joy.

Website: relationshipsthatwork.coach

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/relationships_that_work/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RelationshipCoachingWithMatt

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClyz46tiN1acMwRQcv3XgQw

Image Credits
Carina Reeves

Nominate Someone: ShoutoutColorado is built on recommendations and shoutouts from the community; it’s how we uncover hidden gems, so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.