Meet Kristen Duke

We had the good fortune of connecting with Kristen Duke and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Kristen, what’s one piece of conventional advice that you disagree with?
So often, parents are told their teens need ‘tough love.’ But in practice, tough love usually looks like harsh consequences, lectures, or pulling back affection to make a point. And while boundaries are important, I’ve seen over and over that what actually changes a teenager isn’t toughness, it’s safety. When a teen feels emotionally safe, they don’t need their mom to be ‘tough’ to get through to them. They need to know they won’t be shamed for making mistakes, or dismissed when they’re struggling.

I believe real love doesn’t have to feel tough to be effective. In fact, the strongest influence a parent has comes when they lead with empathy and validation. It may feel counterintuitive, but when parents stop trying to prove a point with toughness and instead focus on listening, their teens often let their guard down. And once a teen feels seen, they naturally become more receptive to guidance. That’s when real growth—and real trust—happens.

Alright, so let’s move onto what keeps you busy professionally?
My career has really been shaped by a mix of personal experience and professional passion. I studied Child and Human Development at BYU because I’ve always been fascinated by relationships, especially within families. But the real turning point came from my own story. Growing up, I didn’t feel emotionally safe or trusted with my mom, and I carried that ache into adulthood. When I became a mom myself, I was determined to break that cycle and create a different kind of relationship with my kids, one built on trust, safety, and open communication.

It hasn’t been easy. Early on, I realized how easy it is to fall into patterns of control, shame, or reactivity, even when we don’t mean to. I had to face my own blind spots and do the hard work of changing how I showed up. That’s what led me to begin coaching other moms of teens. I wanted to take what I learned, the struggles, the setbacks, and the breakthroughs, and create a framework so moms don’t feel so alone or stuck.

What sets me apart is that I’ve lived the struggles I coach through, I know firsthand what it feels like to long for closeness with your teen, and what it takes to rebuild it. I know the pain of distance with a teenager and also the joy of closeness when trust is rebuilt. I’m most proud when I hear from a mom who says, ‘My teen actually talks to me now,’ or ‘We’re laughing together again.’ That transformation is what keeps me going.

The biggest lesson I’ve learned is that parenting teens isn’t about controlling them, it’s about transforming ourselves. When a mom becomes emotionally safe and trusted, everything shifts. And that’s the message I want the world to know: it’s possible to trade the battles and power struggles for influence, respect, and connection. That’s the story of my brand, and it’s the story I want moms everywhere to believe is possible for them, too.

Let’s say your best friend was visiting the area and you wanted to show them the best time ever. Where would you take them? Give us a little itinerary – say it was a week long trip, where would you eat, drink, visit, hang out, etc.
If my best friend were visiting, we’d start at Garden of the Gods, it’s the must-see gem of Colorado Springs. I’m also a family portrait photographer, and I’ve found a hidden spot there that is perfect for photos.

We’d mix in hikes at Pulpit Rock, a drive up Pikes Peak, and a stroll through Manitou Springs cute shops, then refuel at local favorites like Urban Egg, and Lolley’s Ice Cream in Monument. Colorado Springs really shines with its mix of natural beauty, adventure, and small-town charm.

Shoutout is all about shouting out others who you feel deserve additional recognition and exposure. Who would you like to shoutout?
I’d love to give a shoutout to my family. To my 4 children: for their patience and forgiveness as I’ve learned and grown right alongside them. They’ve been some of my greatest teachers. To my husband: for walking beside me in this journey of parenting and life. To my dad: he was a trusted parent well before his time, and his way of making me feel safe and understood left a lasting impression. And even to my mom: though our relationship was tense when I was a teen, her consistency and commitment were things I could always count on, and they continue to shape the way I show up today.

Website: https://www.kristenduke.com

Instagram: @KristenDukeChats https://www.instagram.com/kristendukechats/

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenjduke/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kristendukephotography

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@KristenDuke/videos

Image Credits
Kristen Duke